Game of Thrones' Recap' The dead are rising

Just some bros out on a trip. What could possibly go wrong? (HBO)

Spoiler alert! The following contains spoilers from Sunday’s episode of Game of Thrones. 

Well that was certainly something.

Sunday’s episode of Game of Thrones started out pretty normally (well, as normal as you can get for this show), bouncing between characters and locations, updating us on Cersei’s imprisonment and Arya’s Faceless progress, but then it switched gears, seeming much more like a ninth episode of the season than an eighth, and spent the entire back-half with Jon Snow and the Wildlings as the extent of the threat of the White Walkers and their army of the dead became abundantly clear.

The battle of Hardhome was the most harrowing and intense battle sequences in the show’s history, and this from the show that brought you the explosion in the Blackwater and the attack on the Wall. The battle wasn’t just intense because of the action (which, let’s be real, was pretty incredible), but it was also an emotionally draining battle, the end of which clearly left Jon wondering if the living’s defeat at the hands of the White Walkers is just inevitable. And, after watching the dead rise, I might have to agree with him.

“Hardhome” wasn’t just a tough hour for Jon, it was rough for all our characters, each of whom had their own personal exercise in futility. Jon watched his plan to recruit the Wildlings go horribly wrong, Cersei held onto her pride in a jail cell, only to lick water off a stone floor, Dany did not hear what she wanted from Tyrion and Jorah made yet another stupid mistake. Only the Stark sisters, one back home and one trying to make a new one, were able to move themselves forward, although in this world, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re safe.

The army of the dead

(HBO)

The way the last half hour of this episode played out was pretty masterful. In fact, the entire sequence at Hardhome felt like an episode in and of itself, and it’s surprising that it was tacked on to scenes of Cersei and Dany and the rest (I’ll get to them below). But, especially in a season as uneven as this one has been, it’s such a nice surprise to see an episode able to capture the drama and epic scale that the show became famous for in the first place.

So let’s talk about the sequence, which seemed inevitable from the moment we saw Jon on that rowboat. The episode did great things with the visuals of Hardhome, showing the Wildlings at first as a menacing enemy, their numbers incredibly intimidating to Jon’s small landing party. That visual is reversed at the end of the episode, where those same bodies are intimidating Jon again, but this time they’re doing it with dead ice-blue eyes.

You were really great in Das Sound Machine. (HBO)

But it’s such a bummer that the White Walkers had to attack at this particular moment, when Jon’s plan to bring the Wildlings to the other side of the Wall seemed to be going so well. This new batch of Wildlings also had the bonus of including Birgitte Hjort Sørensen, who you may recognize from Pitch Perfect 2. We knew she was going to die from the moment we saw her cute little kids (although having her killed by creepy zombie kids seemed excessive). You could also tell the battle (or something big) was coming by how long the show lingered in this location, instead of bouncing to another one. The unease in the sequence never let up, whether it was caused by the Wildlings or the evacuation or eventually the Walker attack. It’s really a testament to the show’s ability with pacing that they were able to keep tension up for the entire time.

But besides reminding us that White Walkers are scary as heck and that they’re probably going to kill everyone on the show, the battle also showed us that there might be more weapons against them than just Sam’s dragonglass. Jon was able to kill one with the Valyrian steel sword Commander Mormont gave him, which is, you know, something.

But inevitably things are really, really bad for poor pretty Jon Snow. You can win Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, you can rally Wildlings to your cause and you can even kill a White Walker, but we’re not sure you’re going to be able to do anything about the coming frozen zombie-pocalypse. Wouldn’t it be nice if he had some dragons on his side or something?

Break the wheel

Love your cape, Tyrion. (HBO)

“A ruler who kills those devoted to her is not a ruler who inspires much devotion,” Tyrion tells Dany. It’s one of the many hard truths he will tell his new Khaleesi over the course of the episode, after Dany throws Jorah out (again) and decides to keep Tyrion as an advisor. It’s a good thing she decided to keep him around, and not just because we adore watching the two of them talk and drink wine together. Dany needs some help. She’s out of her depth in Meereen and even more out of her depth when it comes to her plans for winning back Westeros. She’s no less determined than she’s ever been, but her plans are foolish and she should know it, based on the conquering she’s done so far. Barristan and even Jorah were never quite willing to tell her the full truth, so it’s a good thing Tyrion’s there now (even if she finishes conversations with ridiculous metaphorical sentiments that aren’t actually any more convincing than what she said before, but alas, I digress).

And oh yeah, speaking of Jorah, our favorite probably-dying-of-Greyscale knight gives himself back to the slaver so he can fight in the pits and hopefully fight before Dany again, because this guy is genetically wired to make bad decisions. I’m sure this will turn out really great for him and all his dreams will come true.

‘Confess’

Cersei would pay a lot to look like this again… (HBO)

Oh how the mighty have fallen, and fallen hard. Cersei went from getting most of what she wanted this season (Margaery dispensed with, a loyal ally, control of King’s Landing) to being whacked with a ladle by a nun in a dungeon (already looking forward to this scene being realized in a future Thrones video game). Things are not looking too good for the lioness.

Cersei’s only visitor, creepy Qyburn, is as powerless to help her as Tommen and the rest of them, but he does come with advice. He wants her to confess (just like the ladle-wielding nun does), which is the only way to avoid her trial, which won’t go well since, as he notes,”Belief is so often the death of reason.” Unsurprisingly, Cersei is really not into that idea, especially since she still sees the High Sparrow as the barefoot commoner she found in the slums. But we’re wondering how long that resolve can last, considering she ended the episode trying to lap water up from the floor. Even Cersei must have a breaking point.

Lana of the Canals

Love your new hair, girl. (HBO)

If Arya ever gives up the hope of being a Faceless Man, she clearly has a bright future as an entrepreneur. Her new persona in her training program is “Lana,” an oyster salesgirl on the docks of Braavos (book readers, I’m right there with you on the name, would it have been so hard to call her “Cat”?). What first looks like an exercise in telling lies turns out to be her first big assignment as a Faceless Man, killing a local scumbag. The other young girl doesn’t think she can do it, but not-Jaquen is kind of ambivalent about the whole thing. From his reaction it seems that things won’t go so well if she fails, but Arya is nothing if not dangerous when she’s single-minded. I’m guessing that the Thin Man’s days are numbered.

‘A Feast for the Crows’

Don’t let me and Sansa down again, guys. (HBO)

Reek, reek, it rhymes with weak-willed because you are just terrible at keeping secrets. First you spilled the beans on Sansa’s escape plan last week, and now you’ve told her that you didn’t really kill her brothers (hey, guys, remember Rickon? Yeah he’s a thing). And while I’m not totally sure what Sansa will do with this new knowledge while she’s trapped in Winterfell alone (remember Petyr took his secret teleport traveled by regular medieval means down to King’s Landing a few episodes ago), but I am so glad that her story is finally moving forward. The show could really blow me away by using this development to give Sansa some agency, and let her move her own story. But maybe that’s asking a little too much considering how intent they’ve been on victimizing her this season.

Meanwhile Ramsay has, perhaps, done the only good thing he’ll ever do on this show by being the one who slyly got the title of the fourth Song of Ice and Fire book into natural dialogue (where is Tyrion with a line about dancing with dragons, hmm?) while he and Roose discuss Stannis’s coming attack. Besides giving book readers a rare moment of happiness, the scene mostly exists to remind us that Stannis is still coming, and it’s still real cold outside. Thanks for the update, Rams, man. Now let’s go back to watching the Hardhome sequence over and over again.